Monday, June 1, 2009

I can’t believe I waited this long to go outside at night. I guess it seems so scary because it gets so dark and who knows what or who is lurking in this vast forest surrounding our little house. But seriously, Aburi has such a magical feeling at night. The street is even more active than it is in the day…the lights come on, music comes on… I saw people playing ping pong, shopping, trying to print and type stuff up in the internet café and best of all, I felt like I blended in. The darkness drew a shadow over my light skin and I could walk down the street without being called Abruni or stared at by every available eye. I’ve been waiting to address this issue but it’s been bothering me to no end…people here think I’m white. It made me sad at first because as a Black American there is a certain expectation that you will somehow find a part of your identity when you travel to Africa and I suppose I have, if anything it has been beyond amazing to see Black people everywhere being self-sufficient, peaceful, friendly to one another, and so on. But the feeling is like going home after a very long time, only to find your mother has Alzheimer’s and she has no clue who you are. Nevertheless, I have such a deep appreciation for their culture and way of life, even if I don’t necessarily fit in…as we all know, it’s not always easy going home after being away for a long time or in this case going home for the first time ever.

On a more positive note, my supervisors and colleagues at the centre have been the most welcoming, helpful, friendly, patient people I have ever encountered. Everyone speaks and stops to chat. Several people offered to pick up a new phone for me or to try and track down the phone that I lost. We have gotten about 10 dinner invites and offers to take us on weekend excursions. And they are genuinely interested in picking our brains about certain topics and issues such as the high divorce rates in the West. Actually, I don’t know how many conversations I’ve had about marriage…clearly, marriage is a very significant part of life here and people don’t understand why we don’t value it as much in the West. Honestly, I don’t understand either. I had almost an hour long conversation with Dr. Furi Lartey about the affects of divorce on families and he explained to me that part of the reason that divorce is less common here is that when there is a problem that cannot be solved between a married couple, the extended family is called upon to help settle the issue. So, there is more support and a greater since of accountability. He is worried, however, that many people are beginning to adopt Western nuclear family practices and I quote, “They’re building walls around huge compounds and putting one little building in the middle of it; where as a whole community would have live there in the past. And sometimes they build the wall so high, you can’t even see over it!” Lol, we laughed about this. This really saddens me because I see so much wrong with Western culture. While I value my privacy and like to be efficient and keep a tight, unreasonable schedule, I really do think it is unnatural to stress oneself constantly and to put people on the back burner and success in the front. Is it not possible to make a positive contribution to society with turning yourself into a human machine, who only knows how to be efficient but not how to feel or how to maintain a marriage and a healthy family and social life? It is crazy how laid back it is here but somehow things still get done and at the end of the day people leave work looking just as energized as they were when they came. If only the centre had the equipment and resources they deserve, they would be shipping herbal medicines around the globe, to the moon and beyond!